I Quit My Day Job

I entered the workforce in college, landing an internship I was excited about at a company I was very proud to work for. I did everything I could “right” to build up my career. I sought out meaningful mentorships, took on additional challenges, and generally “played the corporate game”, and eventually, after 8 years of hard work, late nights, and some weekends, I landed my dream role with a team I was lucky to work with. It was a huge moment for me, especially since the last year or two striving for this goal had been particularly grueling. In those grueling years, I also got married to an incredibly supportive and encouraging man. He went above and beyond to support my job. He patiently listened to my rants about frustrating coworkers, reheated dinner for me when I got home late, and set time aside for me to be quiet by myself so I could reset and work hard again on Monday.  He never once made me feel like I needed to do more at home, or that I was giving too much at work – the concerns he voiced were always focused on my health and happiness. “Did you have time to go for a walk today?” “Did you get enough water today?” or “You sound really frustrated by this project/these people/this organization – do you actually like what you do?”

The first two questions were easy to laugh off, even though the answer was usually no. The final question was increasingly hard to ignore. In my own thoughts, I had been thinking that this job was feeling out of balance in my life, so that I always felt under-energized and overwhelmed outside of my work. Despite the dream role, I regularly felt like there was nothing in the tank when I finally made it home, nothing left to contribute to dinner, laundry, or even a real conversation with my husband. I was zoning out a lot, always thinking about work in the background, whether I wanted to admit it or not. It felt even worse because I was a newlywed – this was supposed to be a magical Pixar-esque time where we were setting up our new home together and making plans for the future. Not to say we never did anything fun or were unhappy, but it certainly didn’t feel Pixar.

Of course outside of all of this was the inevitable doom-scroll, which provided an information overload about everything wrong with the world. Landfills worldwide filled with trash that will take eons to decompose, fueled by an endless cycle of over-production, over-consumption, and mass disposal. The majority of these products are poorly-made with toxic materials by people who aren’t treated with dignity, and the factories themselves fail to consider their impact on the environment around them. But all of this ignored by a majority population of people who increasingly have very little regard for tradition or craftsmanship, and instead place value on instant gratification and not just keeping up with the Jones’, but a desire to outdo them at every opportunity. We’ve all seen it online, and it can be incredibly overwhelming.

My work and personal life then were out of balance in an already unbalanced world. I started to think a lot more seriously about the impact I make on those around me and my community. How should I go about bringing those things back into balance, and in turn contribute to rebalancing the world at large?

I had planned to adjust my workload to let my personal life take the front seat, and was trying to arrange my new role and other aspects of my life in this manner, when my husband and I found out we were expecting our first child. This incredibly happy development threw everything into high gear for me. Not only was I not happy with the balance of priorities in my life, but I also now felt an additional sense of responsibility to demonstrate a life of balance to my future son, and to actively cultivate a world that I would be proud to leave him with. On top of that, if I continued to give the level of effort to my work that my position and organization were demanding, what time and energy would be left for my family? This reinforced that a priority change needed to be made in my life.

An incredible blessing in all of this is once more, my husband, who heard all my ramblings and encouraged me to explore all options, including non-traditional paths, that would address these problems. We are very lucky to be in a position where my salary was not entirely necessary to support our lifestyle, and since I was going to be taking maternity leave anyway, we explored the idea of me taking time away from the workforce. There were lots of conversations about roles in the household, roles in the community, would I find a meaningful way to spend my time, would I be lonely, was this a temporary solution or a permanent one. Some of these questions are still open-ended, but we found a way to make it work, and after 9 years of working and achieving the majority of the professional goals I had set out to accomplish, I turned in my notice and became a Stay-At-Home(-Expectant)-Mom.

As a goal-oriented person, obviously I have a lot of “objectives” for this time away from work. One of them is to unwind from many years of burnout. Another is to prepare our home and our lifestyle for the birth of our son, which will inevitably bring about a huge, beautiful change. But another is to explore what it means to live a good, slow life. A life with the key principles of gratitude, craftsmanship, patience, care for our family, care for the environment, care for the community. I’m aiming for a life with these values that is also realistic and practical – we live in a city, so there will be no livestock or development of boutique pantry goods, but more of the day to day practices that can make a difference, not just in the community, but in your mindset and how you approach life in the little things.

My approach to this lifestyle is conveniently supported by my hobbies and interests. I have an affinity for traditional craftsmanship and skillsets (sewing, embroidery, wood working, etc) and have started to try my hand at gardening (tomatoes, cucumbers, and herbs right now…. things that grow easily and we will easily consume all of). I enjoy thrifting, repairing, and finding new uses for items I already have. I know the basics of knitting and crocheting, but I’m hoping to improve my skills. I prefer to buy second-hand or from a verifiable small business before looking at big-box stores when I need something I can’t make myself. I hope to share the process and results from these practices and welcome any tips or advice you have from your experiences as well!

So I quit my day job for a lifestyle I don’t have all the answers for. But I think I have an idea of what makes up a good, slow life and I’m happy to share what it looks like if anyone wants to come along.